no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
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We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
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Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Randomize