u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
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