This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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