I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize