You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize