Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize