My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
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