Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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