i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
She's the barista slut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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