We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Go christen that room with your naked body.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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