im holly from the hills drunk
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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