No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
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