giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
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The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
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I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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