after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Randomize