Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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