She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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