Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
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