Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
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