Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize