Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize