If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Randomize