part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Randomize