i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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