3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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