in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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