I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was born a porn star she said
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Randomize