dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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