So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
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He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
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Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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