Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
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