Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize