So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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