I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
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THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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