i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
im having a threesome with these popsicles
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
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yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
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Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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