I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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