I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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