So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
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I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
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