i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
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