Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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