You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
I think I just sharted jello shots
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