he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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