I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Randomize