you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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