Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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