I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize