Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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