My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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