I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
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threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
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Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
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