Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize