ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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