My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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